Friday, October 14, 2011

Kobayashi Maru

The Grimpeurs raced up Snake Hill Road yesterday. High points were available with eight riders at the start. The Fat Cat kept it at 90% from bottom to top, wheezing like an octogenarian, 5-pack-a-day smoker whose oxygen tank just ran out. The leaders were kept in sight throughout the joyous ordeal and , possibly for the first time ever, The Fat Cat did, distantly, witness the win. Boyscout took the top spot along with eight whopping points ( We didn't get the polka-dot jersey back in time for the podium shot). He was followed by Randy and then Andy rhymed out the podium.

On the upper reaches of the climb, Talks-with-legs snuck up behind Fat Cat. It was particularly disturbing in that a blind man can usually mark Legs' approach via the constant discourse. The pace had apparently stolen the power of speech from the great orator, almost. He did have the capacity to ask The Fat Cat who was riding just ahead. Fatty must have been right at the red line because the supreme effort of saying ANDY (with an implied DAMMIT) nearly caused a brilliant explosion of flesh and lung right there.  Legs used the occasion to pull away by about 20 yards. Fat Cat wondered if he had some extra reserve deep down in the bottom of his own pain locker, maybe under that musty old cyclocross shirt.  Maybe he could sprint up the last incline, take 4th place, vomiting as he crossed the line. Or maybe, legs would just speed up a little himself, leaving The Cat to die in his wake. The musty old shirt lay undisturbed. Legs was 4th and Fat Cat was 5th.

The Fat Cat wobbled around in a haze of oxygen debt while the remaining riders crested the climb. Brahma Mama was followed up by Trip and "Fixie" Jack  who brought up the Red Lantern on his brand new cross bike with soul crushing knobbies.

The overall standings are as follows: (1.)  Legs has dethroned Big Daddy with 11 points  (2.)  Birdman is tied with Boyscout at 8.  (4.) Randy -who shall be called Cross-eye for his fascination with ultralight cross bikes- is in sole position of 4th place with 7 points. (5) Fat Cat and Andy  -or Tall-Boy because, well he's tall- are tied for 5th at 6 points. (7.) Sandbag has 4 points.  (8.) Brahma Mama has 3 points (She'd have more if training Tuesdays counted). (9.) Trip has 2. (10.) Fixie has 1.

The rest of the ride consisted of a pleasant jaunt through Preston County. The Grimpeurs turned onto East Street behind the Pharmacy in Masontown. They proceeded to drift down Long Hollow (or South Street or Gibson depending on the map you use). A right onto Dillon's Creek Road led to that steep punchy climb and everyone knocked it out. The Grimp took another right onto Oak Flat Road and crossed Rt 7 to bombed out Burke Rd. Zinn Chapel Road led to Born Road where the wide fields and blossoming fall colors slowed the pace. After that it was Kingwood Pike and the rocket ride down Summer School before each Grimpeur went off on their separate paths.

Next up is the Tuesday Training Ride on Mud Pike at 12:30. The next point race is next Thursday, 9:30 (botanical gardens start-try to ride there if possible).

No comments: