Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly



The officials have finished drinking and all the results are in regarding the 2009 Morgantown Road Race. Recall my initial satisfaction that I wasn't last and had stayed with the pack for much longer than ever before. Now, witness my time- 3:00:37 Yuck! It's painful to type. It was 2 minutes slower than I had done on that course in scouting runs. I suppose that back pain really did slow me down.

More inspection and, bam, I'm happy again. Had I registered for my appropriate Cat 5 classification, I would have placed 12th of 26. Not spectacular but respectable compared to 26th outta 29 in the Master's group. Hey! Those guys are good.

Then more shame. I was 34:59 back in my group. Sweet Jesus! Had I been kidnapped and drugged mid race by a band of bicyler buggering itinerant gypsies? I thought that was just an oxygen deprivation induced flight of fancy. Is that where all the soreness in the backside came from?

Happy, happy- Joy, joy. Not only was I not the last person across the line, but 30 men women and children took longer than me. That doesn't include dnf's.

I hung my head at the thought of a fellow from the 60-64 age group beating me by 25 minutes.

Alright, I beat Robbie from the bike shop. He's gotta be fast, and cool, if he works at a bike store.

VeloBetsy beat me by 37 minutes. Well, that's just a push. She's some kinda U.S. Champion or something. Besides, she always rides you into the ground so nicely...can't be too upset about that one.

Hooray! After checking the pictures and the finishing times, I think the girl I worked with/for on 218 was Crissy Buerkle and she did just fine. She was 8th for the women and beat 11 other women. Hope I helped.

But, oh man... Crissy put 7 minutes on me over the final 27, hilly miles.

I woulda been 9th if I was a girl. You make the call.

The Grimpeurs had a kick ass showing and I wasn't last in that category. (Just second to last.) The results:
Aerobinator (of course) 2:30:29 He finished top ten with a broken wheel/brake rub.
Phallose 2:34:27
Brian Talbot (Honorary) 2:34:46
Big Daddy Birdman 2:35:09
Flanders Fat Cat 3:00:37
Killer Bee 3:04:11

Dammit. On a 50 mile ride I slow the Grimp group up by about 25 minutes. Some things you just don't wanna know. Must be my sparkling personality that keeps 'em comin' back.

Ha! Thanks for coming out Bee. What happened?

Well, that's all I got for ya. It all boils down to: I had fun. I need a lot of work.


(Gunnar and Adam. Separated by milliseconds and many years.)

8 comments:

Philmeaux said...

I wouldn't take too much stock in those times being accurate...

Craig, The Flanders Fat Cat said...

Don't tell anyone, but, It may be that the staggered start was not factored in. For example, I rode a 2:55 Instead of a 3:00. If that is the case, I think you would get to take 10 minutes off your time. Also, I would be last in the Grimpeur race, which makes sense. But, let's just keep that between you and me, huh, bud.

bluecolnago said...

"I woulda been 9th if I was a girl. You make the call".


ummmmmm.... nah. nevermind.

good work! :)

your secret code word tonight is "barho"

bar-ho! that's mighty fine!

Lily on the Road said...

but, did you have fun? LMAO!!

Sounds pretty good to me, but what do I know, however, I am taking up the cycling cause, you and Blue have me convinced to be more serious about riding. Thanks for stopping by, my gosh it's been ages!!!

Groover said...

That's one hilarious account of what's going through, probably, lots of people's heads, when analysing the race results. Boy, did I recognise your kind of reasoning ... LOL

I found your blog via Lily on the Road.

Craig, The Flanders Fat Cat said...

Lily,
Sorry to hear about the knee. You'll be okay. Remember. The only time you should run is if you don't have a bike.

Groover,
Thanks for stoppin' by.
I doubt the things that go though my head are at all normal.

MrDaveyGie said...

Good job, sucks that the 'masters' are all previous CAT 1 and 2 and don't know how to slow down. :-)
Dave

Butch said...

Good show..... at least I can beat you at one thing- I could slow the Grimps down way more than you & I'm available! Saddest thing I learned from racing sporadicaly was that each time I got into an older category I did worse. The guys that keep racing are indeed the masters!